


fold out like a map on the surface

by orphan_account



Category: This Way Up (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Charlotte kissing her wasn’t a surprise.Shona thinks it should’ve been, that her reaction should’ve been shock and something closer to anger. Instead, it felt right and easy, like it was what she was waiting for.It pisses her off that a proposal from her boyfriend surprised her more than her best friend kissing her. It feels like her word has turned upside down, but that it’s flipped back into the right way, like somehow it took her this long to figure it out.basically, shona and charlotte go on a mini road trip post-women in finance presentation.
Relationships: Charlotte/Shona (This Way Up)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	fold out like a map on the surface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atlantisairlock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/gifts).



> title from Nowhere Fast by Valley, which doesn't really fit this fic but I like how it kind of references a road trip. i do think the song somewhat fits shona pre-charlotte when she was with vish.

Shona ends things with Vish and feels nothing. He doesn’t look surprised and she wonders if the proposal was a last-ditch effort. A quick way to get an answer, one way or the other. 

It’s late, when he leaves, the kitchen lights on but the rest of her apartment is dark. She hasn’t been alone in her place in a long time, not with how much Vish was over, how much he wanted to be like it was proof they should move in together, and if he wasn’t around or sometimes if he was, Aine would show up. 

The quiet feels better. She finds a box in her closet, big enough to fit almost all of the things Vish left in. There are the dark blue dishcloths he always said were better than her’s, a drawer full of outfits that she takes her time folding, a scarf, a pile of books she knows he hasn’t read, a laptop charger, and an old briefcase. She’d bought him a new one for his last birthday. They’d had a box of things to donate piling up and she puts the old one there instead. 

By the time she’s finished, it’s almost three in the morning and she knows she won’t be able to sleep. She has a week off of work that was supposed to be spent on vacation with Vish and she figures she could use the break anyway. 

The only problem is that she doesn’t want to go anywhere alone. She doesn’t want to stay in her empty apartment but most of her friends know about Vish, would want to talk about him or interrogate her, and she wants to be able to relax. 

There’s another option, the first person she thought of, but Shona doesn’t know what she’d be implying if she asked. Charlotte had kissed her, but Shona has no idea what it'd meant. 

Charlotte knew she was with Vish and that she’d called him her fiancé. Charlotte brought her coffee every morning and knew her order at exactly seven different takeout places. Charlotte was her friend before she was anything else and Charlotte understood her in ways Vish hadn’t figured out. 

Charlotte kissing her wasn’t a surprise. 

Shona thinks it should’ve been, that her reaction should’ve been shock and something closer to anger. Instead, it felt right and easy, like it was what she was waiting for. 

It pisses her off that a proposal from her boyfriend surprised her more than her best friend kissing her. It feels like her word has turned upside down, but that it’s flipped back into the right way like somehow it took her this long to figure it out.

Shona texts Charlotte before she starts packing. It’s late and she isn’t expecting an answer until the morning but Charlotte texts her back asking if she’s okay and Shona calls her. 

“Hey,” Shona says, “why are you awake?” 

“Why are you?” Charlotte counters. Her voice is lower than usual, gravelly, and Shona would feel bad about clearly waking her up if she could recover from how attractive she sounds. 

“Things happened,” Shona says, vaguely, “I’m going on a road trip. Want to come with me?”

“Shona,” Charlotte starts. She doesn’t say anything else and Shona waits her out, switching to speaker and putting her suitcase out on her bed. She isn’t planning on going for a long time, is happy to be back mid-week if it works out better. “Where are you even going?”

“I don’t know,” Shona shrugs, “somewhere fun. I just - I need to get away.”

“Okay,” Charlotte says, “I have to be back by Wednesday night.” 

Five days isn’t long enough to get sick of each other and Shona hates driving anyways. It’s perfect and she grins, feeling way more relaxed than she did minutes ago.

“I can do that,” Shona confirms.

“Great,” Charlotte yawns, “now go the fuck to sleep.” 

Shona laughs, “I’ll pick you up at eight.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Charlotte says, a bit sarcastically. Shona laughs again, only a bit delirious, and throws another shirt into her suitcase. 

\---

“Can I even trust you to drive?” Charlotte asks, drily. 

Shona flips her off, beaming, “I am an excellent driver.” She ended up borrowing her mom’s car. It’s clean like she hasn’t driven it in ages and her mom hadn’t asked questions, just kept winking and mentioning grandkids. She hadn’t had the heart to tell her she’d dumped Vish.

“I meant how much did you sleep,” Charlotte says. She throws her bag beside Shona’s in the backseat, because there was an incredible amount of yarn in the trunk that she hadn’t wanted to deal with, and closes the door. “I can drive,” She offers, “if you want to nap.”

“That’s probably smart,” Shona agrees. She throws the car keys towards her and grins when Charlotte nearly drops them. “We’re getting coffee first.”

“Sure,” Charlotte agrees. She adjusts the seat and the mirrors, ignoring the way Shona is looking at her like she finds it adorable that she cares about safety. “Where are we even going?”

“Oxford,” Shona says, “it’s not that far and I’m sure there’s something we can do there. I was thinking after that we go to see Stonehenge? I’ve never been. Aine says it’s awful but she hates a lot of things.” 

“I haven’t been either,” Charlotte says, “should be good.”

Shona smiles at her, her hair is up in a ponytail and she looks exhausted but not sad. The hoodie she’s wearing is too big for her, the strings uneven and she’s already curled up in the passenger’s seat. “I’m really glad you’re coming with me.” 

“Me too,” Charlotte agrees, even if she isn’t sure she can survive five straight days with Shona, alone. 

Shona passes out before Charlotte even stops for coffee. She put the address in the GPS so Charlotte keeps driving. It’s easy to focus on the road with the music on quietly and Shona’s soft snores. She looks sweet, head tilted against the window and mouth open. 

It isn’t a long drive and the address brought her to a hotel. She shakes Shona awake, smiling at how cranky she looks, nose scrunched up and eyes blinking. Her glasses are in the cupholder between them and Charlotte passes them over.

“Fuck,” Shona breathes, blinking until she can see properly. “We’re already here?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte says, “come on, I’ll buy you coffee.”

\---

Aine calls her just as they’re getting back to the hotel room. Shona is exhausted, even though all they did was walk around aimlessly, stopping in stores and libraries and bakery shops whenever they felt like it. 

“I’ll go pick up dinner,” Charlotte tells her, dropping her bag near the closet, “you talk with her.”

“Thank you,” Shona says, kicking her shoes off. They ordered food from a place across the street that the receptionist promised was her favourite. It shouldn’t take Charlotte long to get it, but Shona starts a bath anyway. She calls as soon as she turns the water on, putting her phone on speaker and putting it on the counter. 

“Where the fuck are you?” Aine asks, “I’m at your place, by the way, you ended things with Vish, yeah?”

“How did you know?” 

“His favourite dishrag is gone,” Aine shrugs, “I always figured that’d be the official end of your relationship.”

“How the fuck did you notice that?” Shona tests the water, it’s boiling hot and the hotel soap smells like artificial lavender. It’s almost too much but she doesn’t really care. 

“It actually dries things much better than yours,” Aine shrugs, “and I am very observant.”

“Sure,” Shona hums. She isn’t sure she’s ever seen Aine do dishes by hand in her apartment but she isn’t going to argue about it now. 

The restlessness she’s felt like she’s had forever has faded, but it doesn’t make her feel any better. It’s almost numbness, like anything could happen now and it wouldn’t surprise her. She thought she’d like feeling this way, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t hear anything Aine is rambling about when she’s stepping into the bath. It stings but she ignores it, focuses on nothing in particular until she’s settled.

“Are you okay?” Aine asks, “You’re not dying right? I don’t even know where you are and I couldn’t figure out fucking Find Your Friends so that didn’t help either.”

“That isn’t funny,” Shona snaps. 

Aine is quiet for too long and Shona feels like she should feel bad. She doesn’t though, so she doesn’t say anything either.

“I’m sorry,” Aine says, dragging the word out. “I’m worried about you. You disappeared and didn’t tell anyone, I even called Mammy but she said you left with Vish, but that obviously isn’t true, so I tried Charlotte but she didn’t answer her phone either, so-”

“-you have her number?” 

“It’s on a fucking post-it note in your bathroom,” Aine snorts, “it’s 2020, you know you can just type her number in your phone right? Why the hell did she write it out for you? It’s like you guys are fourteen and have your first crush.” 

Shona breathes in sharply. It isn’t a crush. Aine catches it and Shona can’t decide if she’s smirking or shocked. It’s probably both and she sighs, sinking further into the water. She doesn’t know why she kept the post-it note. 

It’s the ugly pale yellow colour, the worst of the stack of four that she always got. Charlotte had teased her for not using it, preferring the pink and purple. She’d lost the blue one ages ago. They’d been drunk, more so than any other time they’d hung out, and for some reason they’d started off emailing. 

It makes her feel old, looking back on it, and she’d asked Charlotte for her number, blurry eyed and tired. The problem was they hadn’t been able to find their phones and they were drunk-stupid and giggly. So Charlotte had written it out on the post-it note, all tiny loopy handwriting, and added a smiley face at the end. 

“You’ll remember it’s my number?” Charlotte had asked, teasing. 

“I don’t ask for just anyone’s number.” 

It sounds flirty, looking back on it, and Shona groans. She’d even fucking stuck it on her mirror because the smiley face made her smile every time she saw it. She wonders now, if Vish had seen it, if Vish had tried to figure out whose number it was or if he already knew. 

“Is that why you ended things with Vish?” 

“Not the only reason.”

“But a reason?”

Shona nods, forgetting that Aine can’t see her. She takes the silence as an answer anyways and laughs, quiet and not fully there. 

“Where are you, Shona?” 

“Oxford.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know,” Shona sighs, “I’m on a road trip.”

“Alone?” Aine sounds like she already knows the answer and Shona rolls her eyes, “No, Charlotte’s with me.”

“That’s romantic.” Aine hums.

“It isn’t,” Shona says. 

The hotel is old and not in a charming way. The bathroom looks like it was renovated years after the rest of the room was, which she’ll say is a good thing. The water already feels too cold and she’s starting to feel restless again. She can’t decide if it’s a good thing, if this pressure that’s building and never seems to fade is her default state. 

If it was romantic, she would’ve chosen somewhere nicer. Somewhere that Charlotte would actually deserve. There would’ve been a plan and they would’ve argued over which order to go places and there wouldn’t be two beds in the room. 

“I don’t believe you,” Aine sing-songs, because she’s a little shit when she wants to be. 

Shona puts the drain on and hopes the noise drowns her out. It doesn’t, she can still hear the echo of Aine’s voice, but she’s clued in that Shona does not want to talk about Charlotte, and is rambling on about French conjugation and how Richard thinks she’s wrong when she’s obviously right.

“I miss you,” Aine says, eventually.

“Miss you too,” Shona echoes. She hopes it sounds genuine, because it is, but all her emotions feel locked up. She misses Aine but she doesn’t think she misses anything else. She doesn’t know if it’s because the Women in Finance event took everything out of her or if her relationship with Vish was built on empty promises and nothing felt real.

Shona loved him. She knows that, but now it feels like she loved him because he was easy and kind and made everything he wanted obvious. She never loved him the same way he loved her. She never considered marriage with him and was never sure if marriage was the problem if he was. 

“Will you call me?” Aine asks, “Or text me updates or something.” She pauses and Shona can hear the grin in her voice, “or teach me how to use Find Your Friends.”

“I will,” Shona promises. The water is almost gone now and all that’s left is bubbles that cling to her legs. “I gotta go but I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Okay,” Aine says, “you brought protection with you right? Like dental dams or whatever? Is that what they’re called? Do you even know what they’re -”

Shona hangs up but she’s smiling.

\---

Charlotte gets back as soon as Shona’s leaving the bathroom. The hotel isn’t fancy enough to have bathrobes and the towel is tiny. 

“Hey,” Charlotte says, blinking. She’s got two brown takeout bags and it’s obvious that she’s trying not to stare. 

Shona laughs, “You can look.” 

“That’s not -” Charlotte blinks, her eyes snapping back up to Shona’s face. She relaxes when she sees Shona grinning at her and rolls her eyes, “I got a lot of food.”

“Good,” Shona yawns, “I’m starving all of a sudden.” 

The desk is tiny so they set up on the bed closest to the TV. Shona changes in the bathroom, into a t-shirt and sweatpants that she’s pretty sure are from her first boyfriend at university. 

“Do we have plans for tomorrow?” Charlotte asks, “Or are we driving again?”

It didn’t take that long to get to where they are now and Shona thinks they could probably do another driving day tomorrow to get to somewhere more exciting. They end up googling, _things to do in Oxford_ , on Charlotte’s laptop, going through a list of the top ten attractions.

“Does anything look worth it?” Shona asks. She stretches out on the bed until her arms reach the headboard. When she looks over, Charlotte is staring at her, eyes trailing down her body in a way that already makes Shona feel wanted.

“Maybe the gardens,” Charlotte shrugs, “have you been before?”

“Nope,” Shona says. They weren’t really a vacation kind of family and she doesn’t think they would’ve lasted longer than half an hour in a garden. 

“We can get breakfast and walk around until we’re bored and then head out again if you want.”

“Sure,” Shona agrees, already half asleep, “that sounds good.” 

Charlotte smiles at her, softer, and Shona closes her eyes before she does something stupid. “Come on,” Charlotte whispers, “you don’t want to fall asleep here.” 

Shona _does_ , but she lets Charlotte usher her into the bathroom and doesn’t complain when she waves her off and tells her that she’ll clean everything up. She brushes her teeth and stares at herself in the mirror until she feels uncomfortable. 

She doesn’t look different. She doesn’t know why she thought she would and she has no idea if she expected to look happier or worse. She leaves before she can think more about it and climbs into the bed they left clean.

Charlotte disappears in the bathroom and walks out in shorts so tiny Shona doesn’t think they fit the word and a t-shirt that nearly hides them. 

“Come here,” Shona says. 

Charlotte doesn’t look surprised but she hesitates, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” Shona says. It comes out too whiny and Charlotte laughs at her, “there’s definitely crumbs all over that bed, because you’re a messy eater, not me, so just - come here.”

“I am not the messy one,” Charlotte mutters. She listens anyways and Shona rolls over to give her more space. The bed isn’t small but it isn’t huge and she isn’t sure if it’s regret that she feels when she’s face to face with Charlotte. “I don’t know what we’re doing,” Charlotte whispers. 

“Me either,” Shona swallows, “is that okay?”

Charlotte closes her eyes and Shona can’t read what’s written across her face. She smiles, small but not forced. “Good night, Shona,” Charlotte adds, quietly and Shona can take a hint. 

\---

The Gardens are beautiful. It’s chilly but they pick up to-go cups of coffee and walk around. They go to the Conservatory first. It’s early enough on a weekday that it isn’t busy and Shona lets Charlotte ramble on about all the different plants and flowers.

“You know a lot about flowers,” Shona notes. They stop in front of what looks like a bunch of green pineapples. 

“I have a garden,” Charlotte shrugs, “it’s a good hobby to have.” 

Shona hums, kneeling down to stare at the biggest pineapple in front of her. “This is not how I thought they grew.”

“What did you expect?” Charlotte laughs, “For them to grow on trees?”

“Maybe,” Shona says, “There’s an _apple_ in the name. It’s not that much of a leap.” 

“They’re pretty easy to grow,” Charlotte says. 

“Does your garden have pineapples?” Shona asks. She stands back up looping their arms together and tugging her towards the bright purple flowers. 

“No, it’s mostly vegetables,” Charlotte says, “I can show you, sometime.”

“You should,” Shona nods, “Can you guess what this one is?” She asks, hiding the title card with her hand.

The flowers are bright purple and pink and white. They aren’t that tall but they’re all bunched together. They’re prettier than the pineapples, at least.

“Hyacinth,” Charlotte answers. 

“Fuck off,” Shona mutters and Charlotte laughs. 

\---

It starts pouring as soon as they leave the conservatory. 

“Oh, fuck,” Shona yells, sprinting towards where she thinks they parked. Charlotte laughs, reaching for her hand and tugging her in the other direction. She’s right and smirks when they get there, out of the entry gates and back a few rows to the car. 

Shona flips her off, unlocking the car and taking the driver’s seat. She tugs her jacket off, it says waterproof but she’s pretty sure it’s a lie, and throws it into the backseat. Charlotte does the same thing, leaning back to dig through her bag for another one. Her shirt rides up and Shona blinks, staring at smooth skin that’s only interrupted by a tattoo.

“You have a tattoo?” Shona asks, reaching out before she can think twice. Her back is warm considering how cold Shona’s fingers are and she traces over the black ink. It’s an outline of a butterfly, realistic with its wings spread out, small and on the edge of her hip. 

“What?” Charlotte breathes, looking over her shoulder. Her cheeks are red from the cold and her nose scrunches up, considering. “Oh, yeah, just the one.” She turns back to keep looking through her bag and Shona skims over the tattoo again. 

“I’ve got two,” Shona offers. 

“Where?” 

Shona grins at her, taking the hoodie Charlotte passes her and pulling it on, “you’ll have to find them yourself.” 

Charlotte is even redder when she pops her head out of the collar of her sweater and she rolls her eyes, “if you say so.” 

\---

They get lunch before they leave, stopping at a pub that isn’t too far off their way. It’s only an hour and a half drive to Salisbury maximum and it isn’t like they’re in a rush. 

“Are you going to tell me why you wanted to do this?” Charlotte asks, tapping her fingers against the tabletop and then switching to wrapping her hands around the mug of coffee in front of her.

“Do what?” Shona says, dumbly. She knows _what_ , but she doesn’t think she can put into words why she wanted Charlotte to come with her so badly. 

Aine had texted her that Vish had gone to pick up his things and that he’d seemed pissy that she’d already packed most of them up. It doesn’t matter, not anymore, when she’s pretty sure Vish won’t want to be friends with her for a long time, if ever. She understands it, but a year doesn’t feel like a long time to her, not long enough to know if she wanted to commit to forever, and Vish was operating on a different schedule. 

“Shona,” Charlotte says, softer. 

“I broke up with Vish,” Shona says. Charlotte doesn’t react. Her face stays perfectly neutral and she raises the dark green mug to her mouth and doesn’t say anything. 

Shona glares at her, folding her arms over her abdomen and pouting, “I was never going to marry him.” She undoes the napkin the silverware was folded into and lines them up, “it’s just - I was supposed to go away this weekend, right? So he could propose in the country fucking side or something, except he knew that I didn’t want to get married yet but somehow thought I’d change my mind when he did it and that this was one of the busiest weeks of my life so I wanted to do nothing, but obviously, that didn’t happen and _you_ kissed me, and then I went home and broke up with Vish, and now we’re here.” 

The waiter comes back and Shona orders one of the first things she reads on the menu she forgot to look through and sighs. “You did kiss me.” She points out, when the waiter leaves and Charlotte grins at her, soft and shy but somehow smug. 

“Yeah,” Charlotte agrees, “I didn’t plan on it.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“I don’t know,” Charlotte shrugs. “Your speech was amazing and we were alone and it just - it made sense, at the time.”

“At the time?” 

“I can’t tell what you want from me,” Charlotte says. “We’re friends and that’s - I love being friends with you, but sometimes you do things and I think you want more, and then I remember that you had a boyfriend and were basically engaged, and then you invite me here so I have no clue.”

“I was engaged for maybe five hours,” Shona mutters, “I don’t think it actually counts.” 

“It’s okay if you don’t know what you want yet,” Charlotte promises. She doesn’t sound angry or hurt, just tired and a bit wistful. “I get that it’s been a lot and I’m good to wait, but I can’t keep guessing, okay?”

“Yeah,” Shona nods, “I’m not - stringing you on or anything, I just - everything happened so fast and it feels right but -”

“-we’ll figure it out.” Charlotte cuts her off, gently. She reaches out and links their fingers together and Shona sinks back against the wood of the bench. 

“Yeah,” Shona smiles, squeezes her hand. “We will.”

\---

“We should not have gotten here this fast,” Charlotte mutters. 

Shona beams at her, pulling into a parking spot and flipping the car visor up. “I’m a very efficient driver.”

“Efficient isn’t the word I was thinking of,” Charlotte mutters. 

This hotel is a clear step up from the last one they stayed at and Shona sends Aine a picture of the indoor pool. It looks clean and there’s a giant waterslide that’s covered and even has a turn outside. She gets a row of middle finger emojis back and she smiles.

“We should go swim,” Charlotte says, eyeing the waterslide.

“Absolutely not,” Shona shakes her head, slipping past Charlotte and back into the hallway. 

“We are,” Charlotte ignores her, “come on, it’s empty right now. There’s no better time.”

“I can think of a lot of better times,” Shona mutters but she knows she’s already lost the argument. She regrets it, even more, when Charlotte slips her rope off when they’re back at the pool. Her swimsuit is technically a one-piece, all black with cutouts everywhere. The biggest cutout is at her back, the entire of it practically exposed when she ties her hair up into a bun. 

“Stop staring,” Charlotte says, teasing and too light, like she isn’t sure she’s allowed to say it. 

“I’m not staring,” Shona says, “and I’m _not_ going on the fucking waterslide.”

“Yes, you are,” Charlotte grins, “at least once, it’ll be fun.” 

It is not fun. 

It takes nearly five minutes to climb all the stairs up to the start of it and the water going down the slide is freezing. 

“We should’ve gone in first,” Shona points out. 

“You can climb back down the stairs if you want,” Charlotte grins, grabbing onto the railing above it. “I’ll go first.”

“Good luck,” Shona mutters and Charlotte winks at her, _fucking winks,_ before pulling herself back on the bar and shooting forward down the slide. She cheers as she goes down, happy and giggly, and Shona smiles without meaning to. 

“You’ll love it!” Charlotte yells up, after there’s a splash and she reappears towards the right of the slide. 

Shona doesn’t think she will, but she sends herself down anyway. She nearly flips half-way down and the slide is freezing on the outside part and she forgets to not breathe in when she hits the water, but it’s all worth it when she resurfaces and Charlotte is grinning at her. 

\---

“I think I have bruises from that slide,” Shona complains, lifting her shirt up and jutting her hip out so Charlotte can see.

“You do not,” Charlotte says. She checks anyways, fingers cold and gentle, and Shona does her best to stay still. “I don’t see anything,” Charlotte murmurs, “I think you’ll survive.”

“I hope so,” Shona says, flopping back onto the bed closest to the window and sighing as dramatically as she can. “I don’t think I can handle dying before I see these rocks.”

Charlotte snorts, briefly distracted by where she’s finishing her makeup at the desk mirror. “I hope they live up to your insane expectations.”

“The idea of them is growing on me,” Shona shrugs. “One of the world’s most famous prehistoric monuments and perhaps the most architecturally sophisticated,” she adds, closing her eyes. She memorized half the Stonehedge page she’d read online while Charlotte was in the shower. It doesn’t sound terribly exciting, but she figures there’s no point in not going since they’re already here. 

“You ready?” Charlotte asks, nudging her knee. 

“Oh,” Shona blinks, looking up at her. “You look really, really good.”

Charlotte blushes and Shona smiles at her, too nervous. She does look good, Shona isn’t fucking blind and Charlotte is in dark-wash skinny jeans and a dark green button-up shirt that looks silky. She rolls her eyes but takes Shona’s hand when she holds it up and tugs her to her feet. She’s taller again and Shona tucks herself into her side. 

The restaurant is in the hotel, so they forgo jackets and walk towards the elevator. “You look incredible too.” Charlotte whispers, leaning down so her mouth is near her ear. Shona meets her eyes in the mirrored elevator door and realizes she knows what she wants.

\---

“How impressive are they on a scale from 1-10?” Charlotte asks. 

“I don’t know,” Shona says. It isn’t that busy and they bought hot chocolate and walked around a bit. The inner circle is where they’re currently standing, looking up at giant rocks and trying to decide if describing them as sophistically is fair or not. “Like, a six?”

Charlotte laughs, “that’s it?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Shona squints. The sun is out today, obnoxiously so, and she starts walking around the structures again. It’s cool in theory, that a long time ago people figured out how to build whatever it is they built, but now, standing in a giant grassy field and staring up at it, it doesn’t feel as groundbreaking as she’d hoped. 

“Excuse me,” Someone says and Shona turns. It’s a woman, shiny blonde hair and eyes hidden behind giant sunglasses, but she seems sweet. “Could you take a picture of us please?” She asks, holding her phone up and motioning towards the guy standing behind her, “we’ll take one of you two, after, if you’d like!”

“Yeah, of course,” Charlotte says. She automatically passes her bag and phone off to Shona, before taking her phone and walking further away to get all of the stones in the picture.

“Want to make sure they’re good?” Charlotte asks, passing the phone back. “I can take more.” 

“They’re great,” The woman smiles, “Thank you, you guys want a few?”

Charlotte shrugs, looking towards Shona like this is another decision she can’t make for them. Shona rolls her eyes at her, satisfied when Charlotte fights against rolling her’s back and hands her phone over. “That’d be great.” 

The pictures turn out better than she expected. She isn’t sure if it’s the light or if the woman is just naturally talented with an iPhone camera, but they’re smiling, real smiles that light up their faces. It looks _right_ , Charlotte’s arm around her shoulder and her’s around her waist. She swipes to the next picture and in this one Charlotte’s looking at her and her smile is different, softer along the edges and sweet. 

“These are really great,” Shona says, honest. She isn’t going to get choked up in front of two strangers in matching jean jackets in front of a bunch of fucking rocks. 

“Great,” She smiles, “you guys are a lovely couple.”

“Thank you,” Charlotte says, “you too.” 

They smile back, all polite and turn back towards the trails. 

“Sorry,” Charlotte mutters.

“Don’t worry about it,” Shona says. She isn’t going to press, doesn’t want to hear Charlotte explain why she’s sorry she went along with people thinking they’re a couple. She likes that people assume it, likes that people see them together and think that Shona is good enough that Charlotte would want to be with her. 

\---

They don’t spend a ton of time at Stonehedge, leaving once Charlotte’s gotten bored at teasing her about how great rocks can be and after they’ve argued if mountains are close enough to be compared to them. 

They find a sandwich shop that one of Charlotte’s friends had recommended and take their orders to a park nearby. They set up on one of the picnic tables that’s covered in make-shift graffiti and Shona ends up making Charlotte switch sandwiches with her. 

“We could’ve done this by the rocks,” Charlotte notes. 

Shona glares, flicking a piece of lettuce that fell off her sandwich towards her. “Calling it the rocks doesn’t demean it.”

“I think the rocks fits,” Charlotte grins, “for what it was.”

“At least you can say you’ve seen them now,” Shona says. 

“Yes,” Charlotte nods, “and I’ll never have to go back.”

\---

Shona doesn’t know why she chooses the moment they get back into their hotel room to kiss her, she just does.

Charlotte kisses her back, stabilizes them with her back against the hotel door and laughs against her mouth. “Shona,” she breathes out, steady. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Shona rolls her eyes, stepping backwards and tugging Charlotte with her. “I’m really fucking sure.” 

\---

“And this one?” Charlotte’s fingers are light against her shoulder, tracing over the lines of the tattoo there. It’s a black sunflower, detailed and with three leaves on the stem. 

“Aine’s name means brightness and there are all these stories about it being the name of a Celtic goddess of summer,” Shona says, quietly, “I didn’t want a sun, I don’t remember why, but a sunflower was close enough. It reminds me of summer too.” 

There are three leaves for Aine, her mom and her dad but she doesn’t want to bring up her dead father now, when Charlotte’s in nothing but one of Shona’s t-shirts and curled around her. 

It’s early and they’re still in bed, waiting for room service to arrive and alternating explaining scars and tattoos. Neither of them have many but it’s an easy excuse for wandering hands that Shona knows they don’t really need. 

“Do you want more?” Shona asks, rolling back over to face her. Charlotte’s a bit blurry without her glasses but she’s too lazy to reach over to try and find them.

“Not right now,” Charlotte says, “I’m pretty sure I was drunk when I got the butterfly,” she grins, “but I still like it now.” 

“Good,” Shona says, shoving at Charlotte’s shoulder until she’s on her back again. “I like it too.”

\---

They go to Butterfly World and Farm Park because Shona thinks it’s hilarious.

“Do you think they’ll know that you have a tattoo of them and land on you or something?” She asks, when they’re in line for tickets. 

“I really do not,” Charlotte mutters.

Shona smiles, hooking her chin over Charlotte’s shoulder. “I can't believe there’s raccoons here,” she mutters, reading the sign. “And goats.”

“Think they’ll let us feed them?” 

“You want to feed a raccoon?”

“No, a goat,” Charlotte says, stepping up to the ticket booth.

“Right, obviously not a raccoon,” Shona mutters, following after her.

\---

They do get to feed a baby goat. 

The bottle of milk is heavier than it looks and the tiny baby goats are cute, but kind of terrifying. Charlotte seems way more comfortable, kneeling down and holding the bottle out. 

Shona takes pictures, barely moving from behind Charlotte. “Are you scared of a baby goat?”

“Maybe,” Shona admits. 

Charlotte laughs at her, looking over her shoulder. “I’ll protect you if this angel decides to attack.” 

“My hero,” Shona says, drily. 

There are giant pigs and otters, more goats, and meerkats. They skip the snakes and head towards the butterflies after lunch, walking through the giant greenhouse with their hands linked. 

It’s great and Shona texts Aine a picture of a bright red butterfly that looks angry, telling her that it made her think of her, and they take a break on one of the benches. A bright yellow butterfly with orange tips and a black outline lands on Charlotte’s head.

“Told you they’d know,” Shona whispers, taking out of her phone and taking a picture before it can fly away. Charlotte is glaring at her in the first one but smiling in the second, small and sweet and almost nervous.

“You’re joking,” Shona says, when the butterfly flies away.

“What?”

“You’re scared of bugs but you’re fine with goats?” Shona asks, laughing.

Charlotte huffs, standing up again. “Butterflies are insects.”

“Same thing,” Shona waves it off, “you’re scared of the thing you got tattooed?”

“I’m not scared,” Charlotte shakes her head, walking further down the path. “I like them, but not when they’re touching me.”

“Fair enough,” Shona says, grabbing her hand again. 

\---

Charlotte offers to drive them back home. 

It shouldn’t take longer than two hours and Shona falls asleep half an hour in. She’s in Charlotte’s hoodie, her old university one that she knows she won’t get back. 

Shona wakes up when they’re stuck in traffic, close to home in kilometres but not time. 

“Sorry,” Shona yawns, rubbing at her eyes and reaching for her glasses. “What time is it?”

“Almost five,” Charlotte answers. “Are you dropping me off or?”

“I thought you could stay over,” Shona shrugs, “we can order in or something.”

“You’re not sick of me yet?” Charlotte presses.

Shona rolls her eyes, “I’m not,” She hesitates, pushing her hair back. “If you’re sick of me, that’s fine, you can go to your place first.”

“I’m not either,” Charlotte promises, “I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“You aren’t,” Shona grins, reaching over and squeezing her thigh, “I’m not going to run away. I already did and I literally brought you with me.” 

Charlotte laughs, covering Shona’s hand with her’s, “Good.”


End file.
